levi: you are no longer "baby," as we know your gender and you have been graced with the name "levi robert hill". i get a little thrill each time i see it in writing (even if it is on one of the many medical bills) because it means you're really real and you're really mine! you grow at such an incredible rate that it really puts time into perspective. i mean, you're five weeks old, over 11 pounds and don't fit in your newborn clothes anymore...whaaattt? you love to eat! it started off well, and we've had our ups and downs-i'm still not sure if it's reflux or what that makes you cry or not feed as long as the average baby does. however, you're obviously gaining weight, so i'm not too worried. i love how you arch your back after a long feeding and i try to burp you because you are ready to lay down. and then i put you up to my shoulder and you gently throw yourself to the side/climb diagonally down my chest so that you are horizontal and cradled in my arms to sleep. i love you so much. you're getting so alert and also, should a five week old really be able to hold his head up already and stay up for an hour after feeding? some of us need our naps! you're still going through diapers like no one's business and sleep at night in 4-3-2 hour shifts.you prefer being held or carried in the solly wrap and are just starting to take pacifiers and getting comfortable in the swing. i'm so, so grateful Heavenly Father blessed me with you, with your heavy breathing, squeaky noises, multiple chins and insanely strong grip. i love you-don't grow up too fast, okay?
cory: i'm so glad you're my husband. i was so afraid that having a baby would make us grow apart but if anything, it has made me want you with me more than ever. oh the hormones! but really, you're doing such a good job of not complaining and helping out with all the changes. i think we've got a good system considering you're working from 8 am to 6 pm most days. i also think we make a good team, seeing as you're so animated and loud and fun with levi whereas i'm the one that feeds him and gets him to sleep :) i love when we all lay in bed with levi on one of our chests or watching you rock him in the recliner while you read him "the little blue truck" or "brown bear, brown bear". thank you for being such a good daddy. thank you for being sensitive to me and loving me...hormones! i'm glad you got to go to cancun-what a fancy businessman you are! i'm just so impressed with how invested you are in your job and how hard you're trying. i'm sorry the TN hearing board keeps pushing the state test back, but we know God has a plan and i know we are both grateful we don't have to move again and get to be in our cozy apartment and awesome ward for a few months longer. i'm so proud of you for all you've accomplished since i met you, and it's crazy to look around at our beautiful home and our sweet baby and big, brown dog and realize how i wouldn't want this life with anyone but you.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
reflection: the first four weeks
this is just a quick post to jot down some thoughts i've been having lately...let's see if i can adequately express them before the baby wakes up.
the last month has consisted of days where it's a struggle for everyone in this household to survive, and other days where so much gets accomplished, i feel like superwoman! some of the challenges include: a sick baby, a changing body full of hormones, house guests filtering in and out, two business trips for cory and a dog that is acting out for attention.
i think the greatest challenge of (new) motherhood thus far is not knowing what is normal. i have no prior experience with newborns to compare levi's behavior to, and that is by far, the most difficult part for me as i transition to the role of mother. for instance, levi had a cold and it sounded so bad-his breathing was so ragged in his chest and he wouldn't eat. we took him to the pediatrician and she was just like, "here, use this bulb syringe on his nose". i felt so dumb, but at the same time, grateful it wasn't anything worse. levi has also had good and bad days with nursing and after many phone calls with lactation consultants (some helpful, some not), i think i have finally figured out that i have an oversupply of milk, which leads to forced letdown (the milk gushes out quickly and in large quantities), which leads to problems for my sweet baby. talk about stressful! doctors are not primarily concerned about a baby as long as the are having proper bowel movements, don't have a fever and are gaining weight. and levi's actions were so inconsistent (crying while feeding, tugging, shorter feedings, gasping/gulping, sucking down bottles) that it was hard to piece them altogether until i found a website that listed ALL of his symptoms and was able to change his nursing position and length. i felt like i mostly had it together, but then levi would have a bad feeding session and i would feel totally helpless. i didn't think i would have a perfect baby, but i didn't expect to deal with tricky to diagnose health problems so soon. also, many ailments can be attributed to growth spurts and heal within a few weeks. however, i have found motherhood has rendered me utterly emotionally tied to my baby's well-being, even if he experiences just a few minutes of distress.
he is healthy, and i'm so grateful that we are slowly discovering and resolving little hiccups. levi is becoming more alert and staying awake longer, which gives us the opportunity to stare into his big, dark blue eyes! his head is topped with fuzzy blondish-red hair and his chins are multiplying by the week! cory's parents call him "mr. magoo" because he really does look like a little old man :) levi is crazy strong for an 11 pound baby-he grips onto his sleeves or my shirt and i have to pry his little fingers one by one to release whatever he's holding. he does not enjoy having his clothes or diaper changed. i think his favorite thing is to be held vertically, sleeping on his tummy on someone's shoulder. levi love being carried in my solly wrap and uses that time to get his beauty sleep. cory prefers to wear him in the ergo baby carrier. i am so excited for it to warm up so we can start taking walks! his newborn clothes are getting pretty tight and i'm sad that he will be moving up to the next size...everyone says how fast babies grow up and it's the truth.
my family left sunday, january 18th, the day cory returned from his business conference in mexico. cory's parents arrived the next day and stayed until friday, january 23rd. we all spontaneously traveled to knoxville for a work trip cory had this weekend, where we parted ways. i am excited that we will see them again in march for levi's blessing. my brother also arrives in a few weeks! it's been a crazy few weeks, and i don't know that we will really settle into a routine with the rate at which babies grow. i just wanted to express the REAL feelings i've been having (no, i do not have postpartum depression) and state my wonder at all the moms in the world, once again. caring for a tiny human is a beautiful and rewarding experience, and it is also, a test of patience (yes, we went through four diapers in one change session) and work! i'm so grateful for all the love and support we've received from friends and family. my baby has SO many handmade blankets, they fill up three shelves and he has more drawer space than cory and i! i can't wait to see what the next four weeks bring and to watch little levi grow!
the last month has consisted of days where it's a struggle for everyone in this household to survive, and other days where so much gets accomplished, i feel like superwoman! some of the challenges include: a sick baby, a changing body full of hormones, house guests filtering in and out, two business trips for cory and a dog that is acting out for attention.
i think the greatest challenge of (new) motherhood thus far is not knowing what is normal. i have no prior experience with newborns to compare levi's behavior to, and that is by far, the most difficult part for me as i transition to the role of mother. for instance, levi had a cold and it sounded so bad-his breathing was so ragged in his chest and he wouldn't eat. we took him to the pediatrician and she was just like, "here, use this bulb syringe on his nose". i felt so dumb, but at the same time, grateful it wasn't anything worse. levi has also had good and bad days with nursing and after many phone calls with lactation consultants (some helpful, some not), i think i have finally figured out that i have an oversupply of milk, which leads to forced letdown (the milk gushes out quickly and in large quantities), which leads to problems for my sweet baby. talk about stressful! doctors are not primarily concerned about a baby as long as the are having proper bowel movements, don't have a fever and are gaining weight. and levi's actions were so inconsistent (crying while feeding, tugging, shorter feedings, gasping/gulping, sucking down bottles) that it was hard to piece them altogether until i found a website that listed ALL of his symptoms and was able to change his nursing position and length. i felt like i mostly had it together, but then levi would have a bad feeding session and i would feel totally helpless. i didn't think i would have a perfect baby, but i didn't expect to deal with tricky to diagnose health problems so soon. also, many ailments can be attributed to growth spurts and heal within a few weeks. however, i have found motherhood has rendered me utterly emotionally tied to my baby's well-being, even if he experiences just a few minutes of distress.
he is healthy, and i'm so grateful that we are slowly discovering and resolving little hiccups. levi is becoming more alert and staying awake longer, which gives us the opportunity to stare into his big, dark blue eyes! his head is topped with fuzzy blondish-red hair and his chins are multiplying by the week! cory's parents call him "mr. magoo" because he really does look like a little old man :) levi is crazy strong for an 11 pound baby-he grips onto his sleeves or my shirt and i have to pry his little fingers one by one to release whatever he's holding. he does not enjoy having his clothes or diaper changed. i think his favorite thing is to be held vertically, sleeping on his tummy on someone's shoulder. levi love being carried in my solly wrap and uses that time to get his beauty sleep. cory prefers to wear him in the ergo baby carrier. i am so excited for it to warm up so we can start taking walks! his newborn clothes are getting pretty tight and i'm sad that he will be moving up to the next size...everyone says how fast babies grow up and it's the truth.
my family left sunday, january 18th, the day cory returned from his business conference in mexico. cory's parents arrived the next day and stayed until friday, january 23rd. we all spontaneously traveled to knoxville for a work trip cory had this weekend, where we parted ways. i am excited that we will see them again in march for levi's blessing. my brother also arrives in a few weeks! it's been a crazy few weeks, and i don't know that we will really settle into a routine with the rate at which babies grow. i just wanted to express the REAL feelings i've been having (no, i do not have postpartum depression) and state my wonder at all the moms in the world, once again. caring for a tiny human is a beautiful and rewarding experience, and it is also, a test of patience (yes, we went through four diapers in one change session) and work! i'm so grateful for all the love and support we've received from friends and family. my baby has SO many handmade blankets, they fill up three shelves and he has more drawer space than cory and i! i can't wait to see what the next four weeks bring and to watch little levi grow!
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